


an empowered & informed member of society

by Quantrail



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: AU, Community: j2_everafter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-20
Updated: 2010-02-20
Packaged: 2017-10-10 17:23:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/102214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quantrail/pseuds/Quantrail
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to a computer accident Jensen Ackles ends up with the whole internet in his head. He doesn't get famous but he does get the boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	an empowered & informed member of society

**Author's Note:**

> Written for j2_everafter and based on the movie The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. Title comes from the song Fitter Happier by Radiohead.

_Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a young man named Jensen Ackles. He was fair of face and gentle of nature but was otherwise fairly unremarkable. He attended a college with a number of his friends and its academic performance was on a par with Jensen’s own. Which is to say, it didn’t compare favourably to most others in its class. _

The once prestigious Medfield College was in a bitter battle to claw its way out of last place in the State Collegiate Classification and things were not looking hopeful. On the day that this story starts, the students of Medfield College were preparing for the yearly exam used to assess the college’s rank. Jensen, the young hero of our tale, was studying hard and determinedly applying himself to improving the reputation of his beloved Medfield. 

  


  
Jared Padalecki huffed out an annoyed breath when he pushed open the door to Jensen’s dorm room and found his friend jerking off to sucky softcore porn instead of studying for the exam the next day. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of a completely naked Jensen tweaking a nipple with one hand while slowly fisting his drooling cock with the other. It wasn’t like he was going to get many opportunities to observe an aroused Jensen without the other man’s knowledge. Afraid that Jensen would notice him lurking, and things would get too awkward, Jared cleared his throat meaningfully to get his attention. 

“This is your idea of study?” Jared inquired casually as Jensen yelped and dove off of his computer chair and under the bed covers. Jared frowned as he got a clearer look at the video that was still playing. “Seriously? Dude, you can’t even see anything except for breasts bouncing up and down.” Jared kept his eyes on the focused in image of some woman jiggling in the lap of a faceless guy sitting on a bed. They weren’t even _nice_ breasts! Too obviously fake and could probably be used as a personal flotation device in an emergency. 

“I was, uh, studying anatomy.” Jensen flushed an even brighter red as he shimmied into a pair of boxers under the covers. He glanced over at Jared and the haze of arousal that still clung to him made Jared’s stomach clench in want. Jensen was his best friend and nothing more but Jared couldn’t deny he was attracted to the other man. If Jensen had ever shown any signs of liking guys Jared would have been all over him. As it stood, he had an awesome best friend who he was inconveniently in lust with. Sucked to be him. 

“Uh-huh,” Jared drawled, not believing a word. “You do remember promising me you were gonna do some work for this, right? Not just spend your time jerking off to cut-rate porn?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jensen waved his hand dismissively in Jared’s direction. It would probably have been much more effective if it wasn’t still glistening with precome. Jared stared at it until Jensen self-consciously wiped his hand off on the bed covers. “Uh, was that it?” Jensen shifted nervously and Jared smirked at his discomfort. 

“I’m not leaving until I see you start doing some actual work, man,” Jared grinned evilly. Jensen glared up at him but after several long moments of trying to stare each other out he sighed and climbed back out of the bed. “Unplug your internet,” Jared ordered after Jensen had pulled on a pair of sweats and a tee. 

“Jared!” Jensen whined, “why do I need to unplug my internet?” Jared just raised an eyebrow and continued to stare at Jensen in silence. “Fine,” Jensen huffed. “But when I die of blue balls tonight? I’m totally blaming you.” Jared snorted in amusement and watched as Jensen walked over to the wall and took hold of the internet cable. 

Suddenly, there came a bright flash of lightning at the same time as the loudest clap of thunder Jared could ever remember hearing in his life. The lights in the room went out immediately and the thunder seemed to endlessly rumble across the sky, blocking out all other sounds in the world. After what seemed like an eternity the rumbling stopped and rain started to lash against the windows. Jared patted his pockets hoping to find the lighter he’d confiscated off Misha earlier. He gave a cry of triumph when he found it and managed to bathe the room in orange light. He frowned when he didn’t immediately spot Jensen. 

“Jen?” 

“…ow.” Jared looked at the crumpled form of his friend in surprise. 

“What are you doing down there?” Jared frowned. 

“The lightning. It, uh, hit the phone line right as I was unplugging it. I think I got shocked, dude.” Jensen sounded more pissed than anything else so Jared chuckled and helped him to his feet. Jensen stumbled once Jared let go so he quickly grabbed him again and helped him over to the bed. 

“Are you okay, man?” Jared asked in concern. He hadn’t realised Jensen had gotten such a bad shock. 

“Uh, I think so?” Jensen sounded unsure now. “I mean, I don’t feel too bad, just like my balance is off a bit. Do you think it killed something in my ear?” he asked mournfully. Jared smiled and glanced up as the lights came back on. Looked like the storm had moved on. Jensen shook his head quickly and it seemed to have been the wrong choice as he grabbed on to his head and groaned after he did it. 

“Hey, don’t move,” Jared admonished gently as Jensen turned a pale green. Jared grabbed the nearby trashcan and shoved it under Jensen’s chin not a moment too soon. He had to turn his head away and try not to gag as Jensen puked for what felt like forever. “You done?” When he received a shaky nod of the head Jared propped Jensen up against his pillows while he went to get a glass of water. 

Coming back into the room he was relieved to see a little of his normal colour returning to Jensen’s cheeks. He looked even better after he washed out the taste of puke from his mouth and cleaned off his face. Jared gingerly picked up the used trashcan and quickly deposited it in the bathroom. He’d come back for it later, he decided. Maybe. 

Back in Jensen’s room again he resisted the urge to card his fingers through Jensen’s short, dishevelled hair when he saw the other man dozing adorably. 

“Hey now, wake up a minute,” he ordered softly. Jensen gave a small moan of protest but Jared poked him in the side until he opened his eyes grumpily. “I think I should take you to the hospital, get you checked out.” 

“Jay, I’m fine,” Jensen protested. Jared just stared at him, unconvinced. “Seriously, dude, I feel way better now.” Jared narrowed his eyes when Jensen tried to use his puppy dog eyes of pleading on him. 

“Okay,” Jared said slowly, “I won’t take you to the hospital if you let me stay here with you tonight.” Jensen looked about to protest again. “Either I stay the night or you go to the hospital. Those are your options, Jen.” 

“Fine,” Jensen agreed sulkily. Jared hid his grin at Jensen’s little boy pout. 

“I’ll just go grab my stuff and I’ll be back.” 

Five minutes later Jared eased himself into the bed next to Jensen. His friend was already out like a light and it was easy to wrap him up in his arms and snuggle into his warmth. Jensen would probably kill him in the morning but Jared couldn’t bring himself to care right now. He had a warm Jensen spooned into him and nothing else mattered. 

As Jared drifted off to sleep he thought he could hear something like those old dial up modem noises he vaguely remembered from years ago. Dismissing it as his imagination he quickly sank into a deep sleep.

  
Jensen woke up early the next morning with a comforting warmth along his back and the feeling of being well rested. He stretched languorously and then froze. The hell? He quickly looked over his shoulder and sighed in relief when he saw Jared lying behind him in the narrow bed. His memories of last night were a bit vague but he knew Jared had been there taking care of him. He smiled and carefully extricated himself from the bed. He didn’t want to wake Jared up with his moving around. 

He stood up gingerly but was pleasantly surprised when he didn’t feel like he was going to fall over his own feet. Whatever had happened last night must have fixed itself while he was asleep. Grabbing his toiletries he made his way to the showers. He wasn’t usually up this early and it was kind of nice to have the place to himself for once. And if his mind wandered to thoughts of Jared’s warmth plastered to his back while he took care of his morning wood, well. It wasn’t as if anyone had to know about that. 

Feeling a lot better after showering and brushing his teeth Jensen quietly made his way back to his room. He tried not to wake Jared up while he changed into clean clothes but once he was ready he poked Jared awake. 

“Whu?” Jared complained as he opened his eyes blearily. 

“Mornin’, Sleeping Beauty,” Jensen singsonged. He laughed when Jared’s only response was to roll over and stick his head under the pillow. “None of that, now,” Jensen admonished. “We have to get some breakfast before the big exam this morning.” Jared groaned but he managed to drag himself out of the warm bed and fifteen minutes later the two friends were tucking into the food hall’s version of eggs and bacon. 

“Dude, do you have my lighter?” Misha flopped down in the seat across from Jared. “I promise I won’t try to set fire to the lab again,” he said when Jared hesitated. 

“Okay, but don’t forget,” Jared sighed as he passed Misha’s lighter over. Jensen quirked an eyebrow at him but Jared shook his head. He’d tell him later if he remembered. It wasn’t a good idea to encourage Misha with talk of what could have been. 

They sat around chatting for a while and were soon joined by the rest of their friends. Aldis yawned hugely when he sat down and, without warning, Danneel stuck her finger into his mouth while it was still wide open. 

“Yawn rape,” she shrieked happily. Jensen stared at her in shock and noticed that the rest of their friends were similarly surprised. “Umm,” Danneel squirmed in embarrassment. “Yeah. So, how about them Cowboys?” 

“What the hell was that, Danneel?” Aldis asked in bewilderment. 

“Yawn raping is the act of placing an outstretched finger (index or otherwise) into the mouth of a friend, acquaintance, family member, significant other or stranger at the peak of a yawn,” Jensen said. Wait, what? “How the hell did I know that?” he asked in confusion. Now everyone was staring at him instead. Just great. 

“You have got to lay off all that porn, son,” was Chris’s advice. “Must be corrupting your brain or something.” 

“Yeah, or something,” Jensen agreed, shivering. Jared nudged his shoulder and shot him a concerned look but Jensen just smiled placatingly. “It’s probably nothing,” he murmured in Jared’s ear. He didn’t miss the shiver that went through Jared at the quiet words in his ear. Huh. He’d never noticed before but now that he thought about it Jared seemed to watch him more intensely than any of his other friends did. Curious, Jensen leaned over a little until he was using Jared’s shoulder to prop himself up with. Jared shot him a questioning look but when he didn’t pull back Jared slouched down a little in his seat to make things more comfortable for Jensen. That was interesting. Jensen was so caught up in contemplating the shifting relationship between Jared and himself that he didn’t notice his friends getting up until someone snapped their fingers in front of his face. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, man,” Steve asked in concern, “you’re kind of spacing out on us.” 

“Yeah, no, I’m awesome. I swear,” Jensen insisted as Steve kept looking at him in disbelief. What was he supposed to say? That he was trying to figure out how to ask Jared out without messing up their friendship? 

“If you’re sure,” Steve said, clearly not believing a word Jensen was saying. Jensen nodded and Steve shrugged his acceptance. “Okay, then. Ready for the test?” 

Jensen groaned. 

  


Jensen fidgeted in his seat while he waited for the stupid test to start. Everyone knew Medfield was going to come last place again this year and he had much greater concerns than his college’s rank. How did you ask your best friend out on a date? Jensen felt a sudden rush of dizziness and then he suddenly had a whole plan of action on how to ask Jared out. He wasn’t sure if he should be freaked out or not but the more he considered his plan the better it sounded. Weird. 

“Okay, people,” Kripke called from the top of the room. “You all know the drill but I’ll go through the rules anyway. After I’ve finished talking I’ll be handing out a book containing three hundred questions. You’ll have an hour to complete as many questions as you can. Any questions?” When nobody raised their hand Kripke nodded. “Right. When I’ve handed the questions out don’t turn over the page until I say it’s okay to do so.” Jensen tapped his fingers on his desk while he waited for Kripke to give them the signal to start. 

“Dude,” Jared hissed from his place a few seats away. “Enough with the tapping, okay? It’s driving me nuts.” 

“Oh,” Jensen exclaimed softly. “Sorry. I didn’t realise I was tapping so loudly.” 

“Just don’t do it again,” Jared teased and Jensen smiled back at him. 

“Okay, people,” Krikpe called from his place at the top of the room. “Your time starts… now!” 

Jensen turned over to the first page of questions and stared at it blankly for a moment. After a few seconds he felt that strange dizziness again and when it cleared his focus was drawn back to the sheet of questions. The first clue he got that something was not quite right was that he actually knew the answers to the questions now without thinking. The second was that he finished all three hundred questions in a little over five minutes. Jensen swallowed thickly and stared down at the dark pencil mark that he’d ticked next to the letter a, proclaiming that electrophoresis is: the movement of a charged particle relative to the liquid it is suspended in under the influence of an applied electric field. There was an equally emphatic mark declaring that electroosmosis is the movement of a liquid relative to a stationary charged surface under the influence of an electric field. 

Jensen began to shiver uncontrollably while he continued to stare down at his answer book. He’d always been more comfortable with languages than science and math but he hadn’t hesitated in answering a single question. He couldn’t even tell if they were physics or chemistry (maybe biology?) questions but the answers _felt_ right. He snuck a look at Jared and found his friend with his head bent over his own book of questions and the tip of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. Jensen was seized by the sudden desire to suck on that exposed piece of tongue. Good to know he still had his priorities straight. 

He dragged his attention away from Jared and back to his more immediate dilemma. He _knew_ he’d answered everything correctly, he just didn’t know how. He also knew that handing up this answer book would be the stupidest thing he’d ever do. Nobody would believe he’d answered everything correctly in five minutes without cheating and he’d get kicked out of college in his senior year. So not cool. Jensen pursed his lips and thought things through for a few minutes before coming to a decision. As surreptitiously as possible he went back through the answer book and erased every last tick that he’d made. Armed with the right answers Jensen set out to make enough mistakes so his answers wouldn’t stand out as anything special. He glanced over at Jared’s questions every so often to make sure he was keeping to the right pace, too. When the hour was up and he handed Kripke his sheets he was confident he’d managed to be as average as possible. 

Jensen grinned happily. Now it was time to see if his plan for dating Jared would work. 

  


Step One - Make sure you are sure you want to hear the truth! 

Jensen thought it over that evening in his dorm room. Would he be able to handle it if Jared wasn’t interested in him after all? He was almost certain he could. Of course, if Jared wanted him then that would be awesome but Jared just being his friend was also kind of awesome so it wasn’t like he was going to lose anything, right? On the other hand, could he handle it if Jared _was_ interested? Up to now Jensen’s bisexuality had been more theoretical than practical. He didn’t even watch gay porn, for chrissake. Jensen closed his eyes and imagined Jared kissing him, pinching his nipples, sucking his dick, fucking him. A soft groan echoing through the room made his eyes snap open. Jensen chuckled ruefully when he realised the groan had come from him and he’d been stroking his dick through his sweats without even realising it. Okay, he was fairly certain he was sure he wanted to hear the truth. 

  
Step Two - Since He/She is your best friend then just be honest to them and tell them you have a question you will only ask them if they promise you first they will answer truly, then simply ask them "How do you feel about me?” 

Yeah, he was gonna come back to that one later. 

  
Step Three - Think long and hard about what you are going to say. 

What was he going to say to Jared? ‘Hey Jared, I know I never said I like the concept of dick but I think yours up my ass sounds good, how ‘bout it?’ That was sure to go over well. Maybe simple really was best? Maybe it really would be as easy as saying ‘hey, I like you and I was wondering if you like me back’. Fuck, he might as well pass Jared a note saying ‘Do you like me? Tick yes or no’. Maybe he should come back to step three, too. 

  
Step Four - Consider calling or even instant messaging. 

No. Just, no. If he was going to do it he wasn’t going to go the pussy route. 

  
Step Five - Don't panic and don't get tearful on him/her if nothing goes according to plan! 

Jensen was really starting to get the idea that this plan that had dropped into his head fully formed wasn’t something he had thought up himself. His subconscious was undoubtedly a weird place but this plan was sounding seriously unlike him. Between that and the weird performance during the test Jensen was getting a nasty suspicion about what had happened to him. He glared at the computer innocently squatting on his desk. He sighed and booted the machine up while he thought through things. He’d been struck by lightning last night. Well, he assumed he’d been struck by lightning. It had probably hit something connected to the building’s internet and he’d just so happened to be taking the cable out of the wall at the same time. A split second sooner or later and he wouldn’t have been affected but, naturally, his timing sucked. 

After performing a few quick Google searches Jensen had his suspicions confirmed. He had the freaking internet in his head. He moaned piteously. He had hours of Sarah Palin videos in his head! 

To distract himself from the whole _internet in his head_ thing he concentrated on his Jared problem. Skimming through the other steps laid out for him he distilled his strategy down to a few key points. He should find a good time and place to ask Jared if he felt anything more than friendship for him and he should watch Jared’s body language while he built up to it. 

Jensen checked his watch and realised that Jared was probably in his own room right now. If he was he’d be playing video games with Chad or watching TV by himself. Jensen debated it for a few minutes and then threw caution to the wind. 

“Fuck it,” he muttered as he left his room, “I’m going to get my man.” 

  


Jared stared up at the cracks in his ceiling as he thought over the weird vibes he’d been getting from Jensen that morning. Jensen had seemed almost… flirty. But then, Jensen had been staring into space an awful lot, too. He didn’t think Jensen noticed but Jared had seen him answering questions at the speed of light during the test. It was kinda hard _not_ to notice, the speed at which he was turning over new pages. He’d thought it was a prank or something until Jensen went back and erased all the answers. That just left Jared confused. 

He grunted out a “Come in.” when someone knocked on his door and was immediately confronted with Jensen. 

“Hey, man,” Jensen smiled shyly, “you busy?” 

“Nah, c’mon in,” Jared waved a hand in invitation. Jensen sat down on the computer chair and before Jensen had a chance to speak he was blurting out what was on his mind. “How come you answered everything on that test and then erased it again, Jen?” Jensen stared at him, jaw agape. “If you don’t want to tell me, it’s fine,” Jared backpedaled hastily. “I mean, you don’t owe me any explanations or anything.” He chuckled nervously. 

“Hey, no, you just surprised me, is all,” Jensen quickly said. He shuffled around nervously in his seat and refused to look Jared in the eye. “You know that shock I got?” Jensen started to explain hesitantly. “I think… somehow… I got the internet downloaded into my head.” Jared’s mouth dropped open in shock. “It sounds stupid, I know, but it’s the only explanation I have that makes sense.” 

“Sense!” Jared exclaimed. Jensen grimaced and shifted in his seat again. 

“Well, as much sense as anything else I could come up with,” Jensen shrugged. He looked over at Jared for the first time since he’d started explaining. “Do you believe me?” Jared eyed him critically for a few moments. 

“When did Kaoru Ishikawa die?” 

“April 16, 1989,” Jensen answered after a brief moment when his eyes unfocused. He frowned. “Who?” 

“Okay,” Jared grinned, “I believe you.” 

“Just like that?” Jensen asked, incredulous. 

“Just like that,” Jared affirmed. 

“Huh.” Jensen smiled at him, then glanced down at his lap again. “Cool.” 

“Yeah,” Jared could feel a stupid looking grin stretching across his own face. “Jen?” He waited until Jensen looked over at him to continue. “If the info in your head comes from wikipedia, think twice about using it in an exam. That’s all I’m saying.” A surprised giggle bubbled out of Jensen and Jared grinned to himself in delight that he’d made Jensen giggle. He watched as Jensen seemed to gather himself and draw a deep breath before he straightened up in his seat. 

“Jay, we’re best friends, right?” Jensen asked hesitantly. Jared nodded but couldn’t help his smile melting away into a frown. Where was this going? “I just- I wondered- I-,” Jensen ground to a halt and heaved an exasperated sigh. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and when he opened them again they seemed to be shining extra brightly under the fluorescent lighting of the dorm room. 

“Jay,” he started again, “I wanted to ask you a question and I want you to tell me the truth, okay? Not what you think you should say. Not what you think I want to hear. Just, the truth. Would that be okay?” Jensen was gazing at him intently and he felt his throat tightening up. He had no idea what was happening but there was only one answer he could give him. 

“Of course.” 

“Okay,” Jensen breathed out a sigh of relief. “Do you like me as just a friend? Or could you ever see yourself out on a date with me?” Jensen asked quietly. Jared’s heart stuttered in his chest. He wasn’t dreaming, was he? But even in his best fantasies he’d never seen that look in Jensen’s eyes. That half-hopeful, half-wistful yearning. Without even thinking of the consequences Jared reached across the gap separating them and twined his fingers with Jensen’s. 

“I could definitely see myself on a date with you,” he practically whispered in reply. Jensen searched his gaze intently and seemed to find the truth of his words in his eyes. The most gorgeous grin Jared had ever seen spread across his face and the next thing he knew he had a lapful of Jensen. He laughed happily as Jensen dived in for a kiss and wrapped his arms around the back of Jared’s neck. 

As Jared found out a few minutes later, there were major advantages to having a boyfriend with instant internet access in his head. Blowjobs? Out of this world. The internet is for porn, after all. 

  


_If things had turned out differently this could have been the story of a young man battling adversity to improve the status of his beloved college while learning valuable life lessons along the way. It could have been a tale of self-centredness and ambition tempered by the realisation that friendship and loyalty are more powerful and sustaining. It could have been a lot of things. _

Instead, it is simply the story of two boys who liked each other and the path they took to realise their love for each other. 

And they lived happily ever after.  



End file.
